Stuff and Nonsense
Where Does the Good Go?
I woke up this morning and for ten minutes I just laid there, staring at the ceiling and mentally planning out my day, all the while thinking it was Saturday. It was only when I heard a school bus roll by that I realized my mistake. It was, no doubt, the result of many consecutive nights of happy hour goodness this week. Wednesday is my new Friday. What can I say? That’s how I roll.
Last night the girls teased and laughed at me when it was discovered that I do not belong to the *gasp* Cult of Going to the Bathroom With Other Women. Whatever. I refuse to believe I am the only woman in the world who prefers to pee alone, and without carrying on a conversation with a voice in the next stall. If you have something really important to say to me, can’t we discuss it near the water cooler or step outside for a minute? I’m sure you know by now I’m not a typical girl.
I know I’ve neglected my duty as your personal Guam guide, not having gone hiking and exploring in weeks, but baby I swear it’s not my fault. I always start the weekend off with, “If the weather is nice, I plan on…” but I’ve been burned by Mother Nature the past few weekends. I’ve got my fingers crossed (again) for fine Sunday weather.
My new favorite thing at work is to put on my headphones and listen to Loveline while I work. It can be so much more relaxing than listening to music! Music doesn’t (usually) cause me to burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter the way Loveline does. It’s the perfect work-stress deflector.
Well I’m going to make a trip to the bathroom before my prime rib sandwich arrives. Don’t even think about joining me.
I also prefer going to the bathroom by myself, too–especially when I’m at a restaurant or a bar in New York, where the bathrooms are either just single rooms or tiny tiny stalls where you barely have room to turn around to put a seat cover on the toilet, if you’re lucky enough to have that option. I especially hate it when I’m on line for a one-room bathroom and a gaggle of two or three girls all smash into it, taking much longer than if they were to go in one by one to pee, wipe, wash, done.
I am not into the estrogen exodus to the bathroom either. It’s not time for conversation. I also do not have the gene that makes me love Bath & Body Works.
you’re not the only one. i can go by myself too. i go in, pee, wash and dry my hands and i’m out. i don’t even look at myself in the mirror, unless i’ve had 2, 3 shots of tequilla and i wanna see if i look as goofy as i feel….
I was astonished a few years back when I found out from my wife that women like to talk while going to the bathroom. It just doesn’t make sense to me at all. LOL
Most guys find this practice quite peculiar, including myself. 😉
This is hilarious. I feel the same way about in-stall conversations. I go so far as to ignore the person talking to me until I have flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall.
I’m also feeling Mona on the Bath & Body Works deal. What’s wrong with regular soap, dangit?