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To Accept Or Decline? That Is The Question.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that MySpace is on the list of websites I log on to daily.
< tangent >
It bugs me when people say, “Log on to our website at www…” when what they should be saying is, “Visit our website at www…” You don’t log on to a website unless, you know, you enter a username and password and log on. Capice? Another thing that bugs me is when people hyphenate e-mail or worse, e.mail. It’s email! No hyphen, no period. C’mon, people, work with me here.
< /tangent >
Anyway, about myspace. I log on to accept friend requests, read messages and comments, and leave comments for friends. For the most part, my myspace experience has been fairly ordinary compared to others. I haven’t received very many weird messages from strangers or stalkers, hardly anyone’s hit on me or asked me out (I’m not sure how I feel about that actually…haha), nor have I had any drama or run-ins with any exes.
I have had former school bullies request to add me to their collection of myspace friends which I find amusing and bizarre. There’s one girl in particular, a hefty girl in my 8th grade class who used to dye her hair with peroxide and got her kicks from picking on me in school. She’d do things like write dirty notes to boys and sign my name on them, or write mean letters to other tough girls and sign my name on them in order to ruin my reputation and start fights. She’d make fun of me and there was always something to pick apart: my shoes, my hair, the car I got dropped off to school in, the house I lived in, and on and on.
I couldn’t understand it then, but I think have an idea now why bullies seemed to hone in on my tracking signal in every one of the 12 schools I attended from the 2nd grade all the way up until the golden years of high school when I magically found my groove and fit right in. I was an odd bird, you see. No matter where I lived in the world, I didn’t look or speak like I was from around there. In Oakland I was the whitest girl in my class, in Texas I was the darkest, in Germany I was the smallest. On Guam among my own people, I was the stuck-up white girl from the states. I was just a weird girl with a weird sense of humor and style and at that age, kids don’t embrace weird.
I moved to Guam to live with my dad when I was in the 7th grade and I really hate to say it but 7th and 8th grades were the only years I ever hated Guam and wanted to be anywhere but. And it was only because the kids at school were mean, meaner than anywhere else I had lived before. I’m pretty sure my dad enrolled me in a private catholic school because he believed I’d receive a better education than at public school, and maybe I did, but oh! I was miserable and very lonely. I’m almost certain the experience is the reason why I almost always root for the underdog now.
So you can imagine my surprise when I received a myspace friend request from hefty peroxide girl. I let it stew in my inbox for a few days before I accepted her invite. From the pictures she looks like a normal, happy wife and mother. I wonder if her kids are bullies.

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16 Responses

  1. brent says:

    are you going to ask her about it?

  2. Christine Lalaine says:

    I’m not even sure that some people are aware that they’re bullies.
    I was watching this documentary wherein an older woman confronted someone that was abusive to her back in high school. The other person actually had FOND memories of their relationship and thought they were good friends. It was weird.

  3. Joie says:

    If that happened to me, I would have accepted too.
    What’s in the past is in the past, I can’t change anything that happened 20 years ago (Eeek!).
    I’d block her though if she starts to bully you now. hehe

  4. min says:

    you weren’t pick on bc who you were, probably bc you were the new girl all the time. and bullies aren’t bullies bc they are born mean, they are bullies bc they were treated meanly too, so karma for you for accepting her friend request…

  5. Jason says:

    It’s amazing how many people from my past have found me through Myspace. I think a lot of people mature over the years and grow out of the bully stage in life. Over time they may forget the bad deads they committed. I’d accept a former bully as a Myspace friend. It goes a long way in helping you deal with the lasting affects of the bullying. It’s like closure.
    BTW, the “log on” thing bugs me too. However, the “e-mail” thing doesn’t. I work in public relations and in that field we write in Associated Press (AP) style. The AP guidelines call for a hyphen. But I think either way is cool.

  6. tricia says:

    To echo Jason’s comment, I work in a publication in which we follow the spelling that’s listed in Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Edition, which spells e-mail with the hyphen to reflect its etymology. My publication also still capitalizes “Web” as in “Web site” (to reflect it was called the World Wide Web).
    Re: Bullies. I have had my fair share of run-ins with bullies, particularly in middle school, which is when I lived in Guam. I’ve also had to always deal with being the new kid on the block (military brat). I look back on it as good practice for real life. Now I live in a place where there are so many other people who are so much “weirder” I look normal by comparison.

  7. Daggz says:

    If i remember karma correctly… i think her kids may be in your old shoes.
    i have a friend that whenever we are out he would mention to everyone that i used to beat him up in middle school, not pick on him or tease him, but actually beat him up. i can barely recall any of the actual beatings and always thought we were buddies. he says its weird to see how i turned out. not so much the bully anymore. even weirder is that i remember being one of the smallest kid in school and having to fight my way against bigger kids. and yes, i went to a private school as well.

  8. henry says:

    that was a very insightful e-mail, jos. this is one of the reasons why i enjoy logging on to your website. 🙂

  9. Michelle says:

    I loved reading these comments! I think I would make peace with a school bully too. Maybe her friend request to you was her way of saying “sorry.”
    I’ve realized that people apologize and make up for things in rather figurative ways.
    I also root for the underdog, because I can relate with them. :p
    … also geeky, also awkward, also kinda shy.

  10. donna says:

    In regards to your email/e-mail/e.mail tangent:
    Are you serious there is no hyphen in e-mail? I took an Internet class and my instructor specifically told us that there is a hyphen (it was in our text book as well). LOLOL I would sooo rather not include the hyphen because using my pinky to type in the hyphen is such a hassle. (I hate using my pinky.)
    I could care less, honestly. But, being that I am obsessed with grammar–I want to do what is right. (That doesn’t make me a grammar expert though.) However, if you give me the green light then for the love of humanity, I would listen to you. “Josie said it’s okay to do it!”
    Have an awesome day!

  11. fabmimi says:

    my son, 11 years old, is miserable here. i am sad about this. he is the kid from california that doesn’t quite fit in.
    about myspace….i purposely limit my logging but love it when i get into the groove. i am more than amused by the strange stalker-y people that find me.
    and about bullies..i was bullied horribly in high school. i’ve always been the nice girl that will take the beatings. it’s so true. i like to think i’m better about it but sometimes i just end up beating myself up.
    (i had to resubmit because i put 9, as opposed to 11 years old! lol) please delete the previous.

  12. C says:

    I hate myspace so much and I hate myself for joining facebook too but I log into that daily. My general thought is that I don’t really need to add you to my “friends” if I haven’t spoken to you since we were 15 – but maybe that’s just because I’m an asshole? LOL!

  13. Josie says:

    I am not infallible. If the real writers up in here and an internet class instructor all say it’s email with a hyphen, then it must be so. But I’ll always leave out the hyphen. 🙂

  14. hazel fabila says:

    strange…i was thinking about that today.. on how websites became a destination…..that the word visit is used to invite people to come see website.”visit us at . .”idk… seems so strange to me…cause it’s not an actual physical location…i can visit my mom and i can visit spain…but now i can visit someone at an http which is techinically an “address!” yes…these are things i think of..
    ..is it just me who thinks of these things..

  15. Leo says:

    E-mail is the preferred spelling in many places, including in The Associated Press stylebook. However, I much prefer “email”. Why the need for a hyphen? Why, for the love of God?
    Rules should have reasons, imo.

  16. Josita says:

    I never thought you were a stuck up white chick… in fact I think you are still the very same outgoing, friendly, smarty pants… I never knew you were so creative though! But I did recall you haning out with (gay) guys more.. that’s not a bad thing though.

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