I Scream, You Scream

One of my current projects at work is to shoot (photographically speaking) a bunch of kids eating ice cream. The vibe is supposed to be happy kids, happy location, big happy sundaes, ice cream on all the cute happy kids’ faces, happy happy happy. It sounded like an easy breezy assignment, for I’ve never met a child who did not like ice cream sundaes with whipped cream, syrup, nuts and spinkles.
Until yesterday.
The shoot with one particular kid I’ll call Timmy started out fine. “Look at me, Timmy!” I directed from behind my camera in the happiest voice I could muster. “Big smile! Alright that’s perfect! Now put a REALLY BIG scoop of ice cream in your mouth! BIG SMILE, Timmy! Awesome!”
Timmy’s expression suddenly changed to one of disgust. He leaned over and spit a nut into his bowl. Then he unleashed his Inner Diva and proceeded to have a meltdown.
“Gross! Ick! Yuck! I don’t feel good,” he wailed. “MAMA! I don’t feel good.”
Mama comes over. “You don’t feel good? Come on, you can do this. If you do good, I’ll buy you a toy.”
Timmy wailed louder and put his head down on the table. “I don’t FEEL GOOD Mama!” The sundae was melting rapidly under the lights and running down the table.
“Ok, how about THREE TOYS? What kind of toy do you want? Legos? Spiderman? Come on, you can do this.”
At that point I jumped in for I couldn’t help myself. “Timmy,” I said. “Do you want to go and sit at that table and watch Jenny? If you feel better by the time Jenny’s finished I’ll let you try again. Ok?” He nodded.
We tried again after Jenny, but he was clearly not in the mood. Later I heard his mother scolding him in the lobby and he was crying and hanging his head in shame when they left. I felt sorry for the boy. He probably didn’t understand what this was all about and wasn’t comfortable sitting at a table under a thousand watts of hot light eating a bowl of ice cream while 4 adults and a handful of children stared at him. That’s totally fine. What I didn’t think was fine was the way his mother tried to bribe him into submission and good behavior. When bribery didn’t work, she scolded him in front of the other kids and obviously humiliated him.
People, I don’t have kids but instinct tells me that trying to control your child by bribing them is just begging for disaster. What is that mother going to do when her boy becomes a teenager and is bigger, stronger, and much more headstrong? Offer him a car? Electronics? Money? She’s totally asking for it. If I had been in her shoes, I would have excused myself and took my child home immediately. If my mama had been in her shoes, she would’ve done the same thing except I would’ve gotten a serious butt-whooping when we got home. By the way, it was socially acceptable to whoop your child in the 70’s. Where I came from, anyway.
Parents, please don’t try to live out your childhood dreams by forcing them on your children. Some children aren’t meant to be child stars.
I’m shooting another group of kids this afternoon. Lord have mercy.