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On turning 30

It’s T-minus eight days until I turn 30 and I am not feeling any of the melancholy I’ve heard some of my thirtysomething friends say they felt on the eves of their fourth decades and in the weeks following. Aging is inevitable and I see no point in getting worked up about it. I’ve found that people who talk about getting old as something to be ashamed or depressed about are the kinds of people who either believe they’ve lived their best years (how sad), or else they regret how their lives turned out and can’t see how they can turn things around (how awful). So please keep your “Oh my, you’re getting old!” comments to yourself, thank you. I’m not listening.

That doesn’t go without saying I haven’t felt anything these weeks leading up to the Big Three-Oh. At first I didn’t understand the nervous knots twisting in my belly. And why, all of a sudden, did I feel there was so much catching up to be done? Maybe, somewhere in the dark recesses of my consciousness, I imagined that at the stroke of midnight on my birthday a great event would take place that would forever change me, much in the way Hagrid made his thunderous appearance on Harry Potter’s birthday in The Sorcerer’s Stone and thus began the greatest adventure of his life. Only time will reveal.

Oddly enough, the anticipation of moving forward has got me thinking about the past and I’ve been going through a personal decade in review. I’ve been flashing back to books I read, things I did, places I traveled to, people I met and used to know. People I loved and hurt. People who loved and hurt me. Overall there have been some great times -some REALLY great times- and there have been some truly awful times that still make me cringe and ache. But. I do believe that everything in my past has shaped my present form and there is no way I’d go back and change anything because I really like who I’m turning out to be. And. There is still much shaping to be done yet. So. Here’s to my new decade: the one that’s about grace, refinement, being thankful for the little things, and no longer pursuing that which is frivolous. I’m ready.

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1 Response

  1. b. says:

    i LOVE reading your entries! you should consider writing a book, an autobiography…something. i’m so glad i stumbled upon this site.

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