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7 Responses

  1. Inna says:

    Q: what does minnie mouse drive?
    A: a minnie van!
    now you know i get my jokes from my 3 year old!

  2. Annalynn says:

    One should always give 100% at work
    12% on Monday
    23% on Tuesday
    40% on Wednesday
    20% on Thursday
    5% on Friday

  3. Anonymous says:

    What does a dog say when he sits on sandpaper?

  4. andre says:

    A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly .. he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
    At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
    “I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend
    that we’re married.”
    “Wow! That’s a great idea!” he exclaimed.
    “Good,” she replied. “Get your own f****** blanket!”
    After a moment of silence, he farted.

  5. Jack says:

    A Priest is walking down the street and notices a little boy sitting on the sidewalk with a glass bottle. The Priest asks the boy, “What do you have there, son?” The boy replies, “I got me a bottle of acid!” The Priest looks concerned and scolds the boy, “Don’t you know that’s a dangerous thing for you to have?” The little boy just shrugs his shoulders and turns away.
    The Priest decides he needs to get this away from the boy, so he makes him an offer…”I’ll trade you this bottle of Holy Water for that bottle of Acid.” The boy looks up, “Yeah? What can that stuff do?” The Priest replies, “Why just this morning, I placed drops of this on a woman’s forehead, and she passed a baby.” The boy looks at the Priest, shakes his head and says, “Yeah, that ain’t nothing. A few minutes ago I put a drop of this on a cat’s butt, and it passed a motorcycle!”

  6. Josie says:

    You guys are awesome.

  7. Miz Becky’s favorite joke:
    Who’s there?
    Interrupting Cow.
    Interrupting co–
    to be followed by gales of laughter.

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